


Alternate Scene: Waddin

by Python07



Series: Still Kingsman [5]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015), Still Game (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor, spoilers for ep 1.5: Waddin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 09:45:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5738950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Python07/pseuds/Python07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate scene for ep 1.5: Waddin</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alternate Scene: Waddin

Jack checked out the window. It was dark, almost pitch black outside, due to most of the street lights being out (either from maintenance issues or neds throwing rocks). The streets were deserted.

Jack slipped the small pouch containing his lock picking tools in his pocket. Then he checked the peep hole in the door to make sure there was no one in the hall. He went out without making a sound. He turned to the elevator.

“Where do ye think you’re goin’?” a voice asked in quiet amusement.

Jack cursed his luck under his breath. He glanced at Victor over his shoulder. “Never ye mind, Victor.”

Victor stood in his doorway, still smirking at Jack. He looked Jack up and down. “All black clothes.” He made a show of checking his watch. “Sneaking out at one am.”

“I’m no sneakin’,” Jack grumbled. “Just need to go out.” He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, willing the elevator to arrive.

Victor’s eyes flashed in mischievous glee. “Maybe I should go with ye.”

“Not necessary.”

Victor stepped closer. “Are ye sure?” he asked in an overly earnest tone. “Nae bother.”

Jack rolled his eyes. He didn’t bother turning to face Victor. “Go back to your bed.” 

Victor stood behind Jack. He put a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “It’s dangerous going out at this time of night alone.”

Jack pressed the elevator button again. “I can take care of myself.”

Victor leaned in close to Jack’s ear. He chuckled quietly. “Can I take a guess as to where you’re goin’?”

“No,” Jack answered flatly. “Where is the bloody lift?”

“It’s no comin’,” Victor said gleefully.

Jack glared at Victor. “How do ye mean?”

Victor smirked wider. “Come on inside.”

“Victor,” Jack started to protest.

“Let’s go.” Victor tightened his grip on Jack’s shoulder and pushed him into his flat.

“Quit shovin’,” Jack growled.

Victor only let go of Jack after he shut the door. “Quit your bellyaching. Have a seat and I’ll get us a couple of lager.” 

Jack flopped down on the couch. He pulled out his pipe. He puffed on it instead of saying anything when Victor came in from the kitchen and handed him a cold can.

Victor eased down into his seat. He popped the top and took a sip of his lager. He gave Jack a knowing look. “You cannae break into Wullie MacIntosh’s place.”

Jack grunted and set the can on the coffee table, unopened. “It’s not like I’d be caught. I’d be in and out before he realized it.”

“That’s not the point.”

Jack blew out smoke and pointed at Victor. “No, the point is you gave him my brand new toaster.”

Victor chewed on the inside of his cheek so that he wouldn’t laugh at the offended look on Jack’s face. He cleared his throat. “Jack…”

Jack spoke over Victor. “Ye know that toaster I have is older than the hills. Weren’t you the one who said it has three settings: black, black, and burnt?”

Victor felt the flush creeping up the back of his neck. “Jack…”

Jack went back to puffing moodily on his pipe. “It was a prick move, Victor.”

“I could point out that you’re the wanker who wouldn’t quit going on about the Rolls Royce of toasters.” Victor sighed and smiled sheepishly. “But, aye, it was a prick move on my part. It was funny, though.”

“That’s debatable.” Jack started to stand. “So, I’ll be getting it back. I know ye have one of Alec’s gadgets. Turn the lift back on.”

Victor pushed Jack to sit back down. Then he made a show of leaning back in his chair. “No.”

“How no?” Jack snapped in frustration.

Victor rubbed his chin. “I shouldnae be telling you this.”

Jack grabbed his beer, opened it, and took a healthy swallow. “I’m in nae mood for games. Whatever it is, get it telt.”

Victor shrugged. “Right then. Alec’s been working on something special for ye.”

“What does that have to do with my new toaster?”

Victor grinned. “He’s been working on a toaster with some Kingsman upgrades. Four slices and can take out an intruder and all.”

A slow smile crossed Jack’s face. “Oh, I’ll look forward to that.”

“Please, just act surprised.” Victor laughed. “And donnae blow it up the first time ye use it.”


End file.
